Counting Blue Cars

Must have been late after noon
I could tell by how far the child’s shadow stretched out
And he walked with a purpose in his sneakers down the street
He had many questions like children often do

He said, “Tell me all your thoughts on God
And tell me, am I very far?”

Must have been late after noon
On our way, the sun broke free of the clouds
We count only blue cars skip the cracks in the street
And ask many questions like children often do

We said, “Tell me all your thoughts on God
‘Cause I’d really like to meet her.
And ask her why we’re who we are.”

Tell me all your thoughts on God
‘Cause I’m on my way to see her
So tell me, am I very far
Am I very far now

It’s getting cold, picked up the pace
How our shoes make hard noises in this place
Our clothes are stained, we pass many cross eyed people
And ask many questions like children often do

We said, Tell me all your thoughts on God
‘Cause I’d really like to meet her
And ask her why we’re who we are

Tell me all your thoughts on God
‘Cause I’m on my way to see her
So tell me am I very far
Am I very far now?

Tell me all your thoughts on God
Tell me all your thoughts on God

This post was inspired by Osyth of the blog Half Baked In Paradise. She is my mentor in writing, my friend in life…
When I arrived in Bangor this afternoon at the home terminal of the company I drive for I searched for a parking space near the repair garage as I need some work done on my truck tomorrow. When I found a spot it happened to be right beside the truck my friend Linda used to drive.
It’s been 16 days since I learned of her passing, but I can still see her and Stewie looking out the window of her truck beside me right now. We would roll down our windows and talk of the past weeks travels and most likely go have dinner at a local restaurant and share tales of loads delivered and traffic endured. Renew plans for my boat restoration and working her land this summer. I can’t even type this without cracking. I miss my friend.
But this is what life is. We make friends and we lose friends. We make plans and life or death gets in the way. Nothing is set in stone, we can’t control every variable with any degree of certainty. All we can do is wait for the sun to break free of the clouds, appreciate all that we have and accept what we have lost.
I’m not a religious person but Linda was to some degree. She didn’t talk much about her beliefs but when she did I could tell she held them close, steadfast and strong. I think we all have some sort of inner strength, something that helps us cope with the hardships of daily life in this cruel world. A voice that speaks the truth we need to hear, a buttress to hold back overwhelming despair. Each must find in themselves the will to carry on, a balance of justifiable glee interspersed with hardship and pain.
Such is the human existence. The road is long and full of pitfalls. Just when you think you see an end to your trials a mountain appears before you. Over you must go or fail you shall. I don’t know what is in store for us when we die but I will not waiver during my time on this earth. To give up or give in to sadness is failing. Failure is not in my vocabulary, and Linda would agree.

 

7 thoughts on “Counting Blue Cars

  1. Get yourself the “Unplugged” version of that song. Much better than the album version. God is real. Religion is a joke. They went chasing what would LOOK better and what would FEEL better. I do know God gives the answers come once you have had the experiences to understand why.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so much harder for you. Walking the walk, driving the drive, parking in the lot right there were she should be. Seeing her face and Stewie looking back at you and realizing they aren’t there at all. For me, it was stumbling across so many emails. I have made a special file for her. I’m going to print out every single one and put them in a book. Those were her words. And amongst them was the moment when she told me that she had found her belief quite late in life and that it had changed everything for her. She was offering the thought when I was going through a bad time. So typical of her. Try to offer comfort and support. She never ever pushed the notion – she had floated it and that was enough. She respected everyone else’s right to think what they thought. I never told her what I think on the subject and whatever it is I know she would accept it as mine. But now I find myself hoping I am wrong. That there really is another place, not just the place in the hearts of those that loved her but a real and tangible place where she is free to be the beautiful spirit and to wait for those that love her. I feel her presence often. Several strange things have happened since her death and I’ve thought …. that’s Linda. Nothing overt, just out of the ordinary. And I have felt so strongly it is her influence. If I inspire you, if i guide your writing in some way, I am glad. And I am grateful that our paths crossed and that I have such a true and dear friend. And we will continue to honour and celebrate Linda in so many ways both in writing and in moments shared – she will always be with us, that I know.

    Liked by 1 person

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