Miss You

Hello there
The angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim
Of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we’ll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we’ll wish this never ends
We’ll wish this never ends

I miss you, I miss you
I miss you I miss you

Where are you?
And I’m so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop the pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don’t waste your time on me
You’re already the voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don’t waste your time on me
You’re already the voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)

Don’t waste your time on me
You’re already the voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don’t waste your time on me
You’re already the voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don’t waste your time on me
You’re already the voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)
Don’t waste your time on me
You’re already the voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)

I Miss You – Blink 182

I’ve become very cynical. I have let all the bad things in my past take hold of my psyche and shape me into someone I don’t like. I justify it by saying to myself, “You can’t help what happened to you” and other such shapeless, meaningless tripe, yet it’s not entirely true. Much of what happened is my own fault. As I get older I feel a great need to take control of my future just as I must accept the folly of my past. I must find the “Me” that still exists deep inside, the youthful exuberance that is pushing at my soul to find peace.

IMG_8117 (Large)Like the sun streaming through the trees I must look to a future filled with excitement, sights of beauty unbounded filling my eyes with it’s strength. The power of nature moving me with it’s slightest touch, the sails filled by unseen will. I am but 5 days away from my goal of a sailboat, 5 days from the beginning of a new life by my own hands. I have given all in this quest, yet I feel like the richest man on earth.

IMG_6643 (Large)I feel the part of me that controlled my life for so long is slowly fading away, “the shadow in the background of the morgue.” The part of me long suppressed, the inner child enthralled with every new sight is coming out of the darkness that held it’s tightly clenched fingers before my eyes. One cannot control all that shapes our daily existence, avoid all the unforeseen pitfalls that cause us to stumble. Yet strength is gained by overcoming the worst life has to throw at us, nothing good in life is without it’s perils. Every moment of triumph comes after a moment of despair, the salve to quash the pain. I am stronger than what has befallen me.

As I move ever closer to the path I have chosen, the child within takes control of my thoughts. I can’t help my excitement and thrill with all to come. I have not been this focused in so long, and it feels good. I have purpose, I have the will to see it through and I have the hope of a better life ahead of me. “You’re already the voice inside my head!” (Miss you)

 

11 thoughts on “Miss You

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